58-60/365

Fuck the one who says

that spring is a happy season

If it is,

then why does this happen?

Every year,

the same fucking thing

I don’t want to be like this,

I don’t want to lose control

~

Tell me what to do,

tell me how to survive

I need instructions

of how to be the person everyone wants me to be

I don’t ever know how to be the person

I want myself to be

I just want people to like me

~

I bet some people would be surprised

if they found out what’s going on in my head

But why?

Is it such a wonder that I don’t trust myself?

Do they really think I want to be like I am?

On the other hand,

maybe I don’t want them to know

~

Olen muuten aika helvetisti jäljessä. En suostu myöntämään ainakaan vielä tämän projektin toivottomuutta, mutta anyway.

Vähän epämääräistä englanninkielistä angstia. Pelottavaa olla näin rehellinen tämänhetkisistä ajatuksistani, kerrankin.